Defining Moments

LDS Singles Testify --- Defining Moments, by Christine Kempe

I believe each one of us has moments in our lives where we have to choose with certainty which way we will go, or which way our tent faces. I call these experiences defining moments. Through these experiences I have gained valuable knowledge and felt my Heavenly Father’s love for me. My testimony is of the atonement, agency and the love of God. Faith in the gospel has never been a challenge for me, or at least, I have been blessed from a young age to know that the church is true and of the reality of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I have had several poignant experiences which have challenged my testimony and helped me realize what a priceless gift it is.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to do baptisms for the dead with a small group of people. At the beginning a member of the Temple presidency was explaining the process. We were to do confirmations for people baptized 2 weeks ago first, then do baptisms for different people and their confirmations would be done in about 2 weeks. My first thought was “That’s a long time to wait to be confirmed.” For some reason this resonated with me. These people who have accepted the gospel from beyond the veil are just like us, waiting upon the Lord for the promised blessings. In their case, it is the gift of the Holy Ghost. For us it may be big life events, such as finishing school, a new job, marriage, children, or waiting to be healed physically, mentally or spiritually. I know that whatever we are waiting for, will come, in the Lord’s time. In my experience the answers come as I continue to do what is right.

Agency is a topic I have thought a lot about over the past several years. It is essential to the Lord’s plan for each of us. In my opinion, it is a central principle in his plan of Salvation, beginning in the premortal life. It is amazing to me that the Lord allows us to choose, anything from the inconsequential day to day decisions, to major life decisions. I know he knows us and is aware of us. His love for us is so great that even though he can see our weaknesses, strengths and potential, he allows us to choose for ourselves. I can’t imagine the love that motivates him, for it must be great. I have found that through this process he helps us to build confidence and trust in him. Sometimes it seems that he has left us alone. I know he has not. In my life, it is often through the struggle and hard work that I continue to learn lessons about his love, myself and the gospel. This work and trust makes these experiences more meaningful to me. 

An example of this is from my junior or senior year of college. I had an experience that made me doubt my ability to receive personal revelation. At the time, it shook me. I realized I had two options. 1. I could doubt my ability to ever receive personal revelation again, or 2. I could turn to my Heavenly Father, study and try again. Obviously, I chose the second. I prayed, studied and sought a priesthood blessing. This experience provided a foundation of continued faith and trust. Now, when I have similar experiences (which continue to come), I don’t have to decide if I will move toward or away from Christ.

I have come to realize the atonement is for all and includes healing the broken, aching heart. There are some things that only the Lord can heal to make me whole. He does truly know my heart. He knows my struggles and he knows where he needs me. I know that as I continue to follow him and be obedient to the laws of the gospel, he will guide and direct me. He has given me a living prophet and apostles, who give counsel and direction. I know that as I follow them, they will lead me closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. Although it often feels like personal direction is not coming, I know that the Lord is with me. I just have to be patient and wait for his timing. I need to trust in the peace he often tries to give me and allow his light to permeate my life.